He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize