Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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