im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
