you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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