Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
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