I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
