just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
