wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
