My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
