I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
