I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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