You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
