TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
