Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
