bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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