just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
