You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
