yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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