i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
