I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
