she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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