6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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