i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
