Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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