So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize