i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think people are normalizing furries
He shit in the fireplace
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize