Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration