She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia