Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap