If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?