i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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