between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
