just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize