Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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