I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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