"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
