we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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