She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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