Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
