Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
