And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it's like iHOP with fire
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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