I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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