Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize