just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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