why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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