your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
