just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize