While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
