All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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