I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
