that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
