I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
