She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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