I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
