I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
