girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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