We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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