My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
