Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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