If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
