just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
