Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You're a waste of cheezeits
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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