What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
